From a young child and as he grew into adolescence and beyond, A Jay was to assume the morals and belief system of his steadfast Christian parents without wavering which would cause him inner turmoil and conflict when he started to identify as gay. At this time his mother's strong presence, influence and bond was ultimately fractured for life.

Was A Jay's mother still able to love her son unconditionally - how can a mother delineate between her love for her son as a person and his behaviours and lifestyle which she and her church found so disgraceful and abhorrent.

To appease his parents and yet to deny himself A Jay made several attempts to renounce his homosexuality trying to adopt a Christian heterosexual identity, which exacerbated feelings of guilt, shame, loss of identity, and periods of chronic mental illness and instability.

His novel exhibits a keen insight into his struggles, relationships, who he has become and how his life experiences have impacted his sense of self, finally to a place of self-acceptance, contentment and inner peace.