Congratulations. You've reached midlife.

Your reward? Hormonal chaos, adult kids who ghost you, friends who vanish mid-text, and a metabolism slower than your Wi-Fi.

This isn't a glow up story. It's a survival rant for the sarcastic Gen X women who were told they could have it all and are now expected to juggle it, smile politely, and keep showing up like it's no big deal.

Nobody Warned Us is what happens when you stop sugarcoating and start side eyeing. Inside, you'll find zero advice but plenty of company in essays like:

Too Young to Retire, Too Old to Give a Sh*t

Menopause, Mayhem & Mood Swings

Midlife Dating & Other Unsolved Mysteries

The Friend Breakup Nobody Talks About

Congratulations, You're Now the Oldest Person in the Group Chat

This isn't self help. It's self recognition. A loud, dry laugh in the face of midlife mayhem. A mirror and maybe a smudge of lip gloss held up to what it means to be a Gen X woman who's still standing, still sarcastic, and finally loud enough to hear herself over the noise.

If you've ever felt invisible, unhinged, weirdly powerful, or one group chat away from losing it, read this. Not because it'll fix anything. But because you're not crazy. You're just Gen X. And you've seen some sh*t.

For fans of Nora Ephron, Jenny Lawson, and every woman who's ever muttered "I'm fine" while plotting her escape or laughed through exhaustion, cursed through chaos, and Googled her symptoms at 2 a.m. Nobody Warned Us is your permission slip to stop pretending and start laughing again.