An honest, deeply relatable memoir about coming of age in evangelical culture-and finding a way forward.

"A book to savor to the very last page." -Publisher's Weekly (starred review)

"A brilliant debut." -Anne Bogel, host of the What Should I Read Next? podcast

In the strange, us-versus-them world of '90s Christian subculture, faith was measured in Jesus fish, WWJD bracelets, and purity pledges. And Addie Zierman was an evangelical poster child-so "on fire for God" that she didn't realize the flame of her faith was dwindling until it burned entirely out.

With candor and transparency, Addie chronicles her journey through church culture, first love, and her entrance-unprepared and angry-into marriage. When she washes out of church, and nearly her marriage, on a sea of tequila and depression, she isn't sure if she'll ever go back.

This is the funny, heartbreaking story of untangling oneself from cliché in search of a faith worth embracing. It's a story for anyone who has ever felt alone in a crowded church. For the cynic. The doubter. The former Jesus freak struggling with life's complexity.

It's a story about the slow work of returning to love and about what lasts when nothing seems worth keeping.