YOU...TRUMP!(TM)
A Satirical Guide to Glorious Self-Delusion

Perfect for fans of political humor, parody, satire, and absurd self-help guides.

What if a self-help book was written by the loudest, most delusional version of yourself?

You...Trump!(TM) is a razor-sharp, laugh-out-loud parody that transforms ego meltdowns into motivational lessons for the truly unqualified. Across 28 gloriously unhinged "Disasters," this satirical guide dissects every possible leadership flaw, PR disaster, and gold-plated tantrum imaginable-and somehow turns them into steps for success (the kind that earns you applause from mirrors, not people).

From Negotiator Trump(TM) to Tech Trump(TM), Spiritual Trump(TM) to Superhero Trump(TM), each chapter explores a fictional Trump-inspired persona. Every one is a masterclass in catastrophic behavior disguised as self-improvement. But there's a twist:

Every chapter teaches you what NOT to do.

This isn't a biography. It's not investigative journalism. It's not even a roast. It's a full-blown comic survival guide for the age of inflated egos, misinformation, and delusional branding.

WHAT'S INSIDE THE BOOK:

• 28 satirical lessons ("Disasters") from the many faces of Trump-inspired madness
• The Lost Chapter(TM) - a mythical, godlike Trump prequel you never asked for
• Glossary of Greatness(TM) - a Trump-to-English decoder packed with original satire
• Are You...Trump!? - a hilarious personality quiz for diagnosing delusion
• Self-Written Mythology(TM), Mandatory Gratitude(TM), and Final Poetic Warning(TM)
• No facts, no apologies, and no refunds for emotional whiplash

INSIDE YOU'LL LEARN HOW TO:

• Demand applause from furniture
• Sue smoothies for emotional sabotage
• Trademark grief and sell it back to your followers
• Rewrite history to star yourself (twice)
• Build a cult, call it a brand, and monetize denial
• Fire people for blinking during your speech
• Stand silently and call it "the most powerful silence in history"

WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR:

• Fans of The Onion, Don't Look Up, Thank You for Smoking, and political satire
• Readers who love absurd humor with real cultural critique
• Anyone who's ever screamed at the news, then laughed about it
• Humans seeking a guide to not becoming a monument to narcissism
• Gift-givers shopping for fans of chaos, comedy, or clever destruction of ego

EARLY PRAISE (FROM IMAGINARY AWARD SHOWS):

• "Most Humble Griever in History" - GriefWick(TM) Awards
• "Best Use of the Word 'Best'" - EchoBlare(TM) Review Board
• "Lifetime Achievement in Delusional Branding" - Trophy Trump(TM) Gala

AVAILABLE IN:

• Paperback (for throwing at reality)
• eBook (for downloading into your Executive Thinking Corner(TM))
• Hardcover (for gifting to enemies, lawyers, or ex-presidents with wi-fi)

THIS IS A JOKE. SERIOUSLY. A JOKE.

This book is a work of parody and satire. It is not intended to defame, insult, or harm anyone. All events, characters, meltdowns, and mirror lawsuits are exaggerated for comedic and cultural commentary. Any resemblance to public breakdowns, policy disasters, or spiritual branding is entirely intentional-but strictly humorous.

Don't be You...Trump. Read it. Laugh. Then try being better.
Available now in paperback, hardcover, and eBook formats.
Blessed Be The Brand