In 1979, Loretta Ross was a single mother who'd had to drop out of Howard University. She was working at Washington, DC's Rape Crisis Center when she got a letter from a man in prison saying he wanted to learn how to not be a rapist anymore. At first, she was furious. As a survivor of sexual violence, she wanted to write back pouring out her rage. But instead, she made a different choice, a choice to reject the response her trauma was pushing her towards, a choice that set her on the path towards developing a philosophy that would come to guide her whole career: rather than calling people out, try to call even your unlikeliest allies in. Hold them accountable--but do so with love.

Calling In is at once a handbook, a manifesto, and a memoir--because the power of Loretta Ross's message comes from who she is and what she's lived through. She's a Black woman who's deprogrammed white supremacists, a survivor who's taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism. With stories from her five remarkable decades in activism, she vividly illustrates why calling people in--inviting them into conversation instead of conflict by focusing on your shared values over a desire for punishment--is the more strategic choice if you want to make real change. And she shows you how to do so, whether in the workplace, on a college campus, or in your living room.

Courageous, awe-inspiring, and blisteringly authentic, Calling In is a practical new solution from one of our country's most extraordinary change-makers--one anyone can learn to use to transform frustrating and divisive conflicts that stand in the way of real connection with the people in your life.