Enough with the sunshine and rainbows! Embrace the glorious reality of mediocrity (and maybe a little self-deprecation).

Ditch the self-help gurus and motivational posters. Disappointing Affirmations is here to serve you a steaming cup of hilarious cynicism with a side of crushed expectations.

Inside these pages, you'll find 40 affirmations guaranteed to:

• Make you question your life choices (in the best way possible).
• Remind you that perfection is a myth (and a recipe for disappointment).
• Spark existential dread with a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor.
• Provide endless entertainment for your therapist (because let's be honest, you'll probably need one after this).

Here are a few gems to whet your appetite:

• "I am perfectly mediocre, and that's okay. Probably."
• "Today, I will strive for 'good enough' instead of 'great.'"
• "My dreams may be unrealistic, but at least my coffee is strong."
• "There's always someone better looking, smarter, and richer. But hey, at least I'm you!"
• "Progress is a myth. Just accept your inevitable failures."

This book is perfect for:

• Cynics with a dark sense of humor.
• People who need a reality check (the harsh kind).
• Anyone who hates self-help books (but secretly loves to laugh at them).
• Gifts (but be prepared for awkward silences or bursts of laughter).

Disclaimer: Disappointing Affirmations is not intended to be a serious self-improvement tool. It's purely for entertainment purposes. (Although, maybe a good laugh is all you really need anyway.)

So ditch the positivity and embrace the glorious disappointment! Get your copy of Disappointing Affirmations No One Will Tell You today (and maybe a hug... you'll probably need it).

Keywords: Humor, Self-Deprecation, Cynicism, Anti-Self-Help, Sarcasm, Gift Ideas, Funny, Disappointment, Therapy Fuel, Dark Humor