"I'm huge on Twitter."
--An ancient proverb that means
Lonely in real life.
--JOEL KIM BOOSTER
"A hilarious read that also honors the origin of the haiku. No, seriously. Read the introduction and you'll see what I mean. Yeah, I know you don't normally read introductions but you should make an exception here. Just do it. God for once in your life, Chris, just read an entire book cover to cover would it kill you to commit fully to one goddamn thing?" --Rachel Bloom, co-creator and star of the award-winning TV series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I'd attempt to do this blurb in haiku form, but it would never measure up to the ones in this book."