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The co-op bookstore for avid readers
I Didn't Know What to Say: Being A Better Friend to Those Who Experience Loss
Death is the opposite of life. And for those who have experienced loss, grieving can feel dark, lonely, scary, confusing and/or almost unbearable. For those grieving, life almost seems suspended, but the reality is, life goes on regardless of our loss. As fellow humans looking on, we WANT to communicate, but words seem impotent and so often we simply don't know what to say, hence, the title of David Knapp's book: "I Didn't Know What To Say: Being A Better Friend to Those Who Experience Loss".
The author speaks candidly about his firsthand experience with death and dying by sharing his personal heartache, struggles and lessons learned in the process. He discusses how fear and isolation often go together in the grieving process. The griever often feels fear while those around them often isolate them until they "get over it". He gives insights about the multi-layered nature of grief and helps readers understand how they can better fit into the process of helping others through those various layers. He discusses the subjects of avoidance and stuffing, hope and disappointment, sadness and sorrow, coming to grips with permanent separation, loss, and learning to live with a new identity.
Though the author shares his story about grieving the loss of two wives after illness, I appreciate how he also incorporates other forms of death, dying, and loss. These may include grief over abandonment from an adoption, separation through abortion, the loss of children and friends through illness, a miscarriage, or even the loss of a pet, job or a dream. He also touches on the differences between genders, cultures and religions to help readers understand differing perspectives and worldviews about death and dying.
In each chapter you'll find sections with practical helps such as, "Point to Ponder" and "What To Say" or "What Not To Say" to someone during the grieving process, along with other practical advice on overcoming barriers that affect healthy mourning.
In the end, the author shares how his personal roots of faith helped ground and guide him through the inevitable reality of grief, permanence of loss and discovering a "new normal".
Book Details
- Publisher: Grief Relief Ministries
- Publish Date: Aug 15th, 2016
- Pages: 208
- Language: English
- Edition: Revised - undefined
- Dimensions: 8.50in - 5.50in - 0.44in - 0.54lb
- EAN: 9780997631005
- Categories: • Death, Grief, Bereavement• Grief & Loss• Death, Grief, Bereavement
About the Author
Knapp, David: - "Dr. DAVID KNAPP, father of eight, grandfather of 28, has been a student of life experiences, most notably, that of loss. A student and ever the teacher, he does not wallow in grief. Deftly, he sorts through common misconceptions about the grieving process in a variety of categories - spouse, children, infertility, pets, jobs, divorce, etc. With seasoned wisdom he offers practical advice to anyone - young or old, male or female, friend or professional - who finds himself close to a grieving individual. It is his deep desire to empower people to be better friends to the grieving and encourage the heartbroken to go through the process finding relief and regaining a winning attitude for the next chapter or phase of life. David Knapp is a sought after national speaker. He is a published writer: Grit Newspaper; Christian Herald Magazine; Brown Gold Magazine; The Gospel Herald Magazine; and has been a regular contributor to Union Gospel Press publications. Knapp has served as an administrator and professor at two junior colleges and currently is a regional public relations director for an international religious non-profit, New Tribes Mission. In line with his life-values, Dr. Knapp serves on the advisory board for an international non-profit organization, Kidz at Heart. He has been very active in churches in the Mesa and Scottsdale, Arizona areas. David Knapp grew up on a farm in southern Iowa and received his bachelor's degree in Kansas City and honored by an honorary doctorate degree from a seminary in Tennessee. He has lived in seven states and current resides in Mesa, AZ. In addition to time with his family, he enjoys reading and fishing. His foreign travels include: Canada; Mexico; Guatemala; Honduras; Panama; Ecuador and the exotic Amazon jungles of Brazil visiting primitive, tribal missionary bases. David is married to Crystal and they live in Mesa, Arizona. Crystal is founder and editor for a support tool for marginalized women in our society called Reach Up Magazine. This educational avenue is published quarterly going out to organizations who work specifically with women on the edge of society for distribution throughout North America."
Crystal, Knapp Wacker: - Crystal is founder and editor-in-chief for a support tool for marginalized women in our society called Reach Up Magazine. This educational avenue is published quarterly going out to organizations who work specifically with women on the edge of society for distribution throughout North America.
Don, Stephens: - Over a decade ago, The Mercy Minute(R), sponsored by Mercy Ships(R) and voiced by Don Stephens, went from an occasional PSA CD to a daily feature heard on over 800 radio outlets. With a message of hope and healing, The Mercy Minute(R) brings listeners face to face with stories of transformed lives, of doctors, nurses and missionaries who serve the desperately poor in underdeveloped countries of the world. As Founder of Mercy Ships(R) in 1978 and its current CEO, Don Stephens heads up an organization of 1,600 professional volunteers from 40 nations with offices in 16 countries -- all focused on showing love. Over the decades, several hospital ships have been owned and operated by the organization. Today, a converted rail-car ferry is the Africa Mercy and represents the culmination of efforts to provide state-of-the-art medical help to the world's neediest. The Africa Mercy has been afforded entre in countries like Benin, Sierra Leone and Liberia, where President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is counted as friend to the organization. Port visits last many months, providing opportunity for the crew to participate in local community relief and development in some of the most poverty-stricken areas of our globe. Born in El Paso (Texas), Don brings a marketing and business background to his leadership at Mercy Ships(R), as well as a heart for reaching the people of the world with the gospel. A graduate of Bethany College in Santa Cruz (CA), he was also the recipient of an honorary Doctor of Letters in Law from Belhaven College in Jackson, Mississippi, in 1996. Don and his wife Deyon (a registered nurse who actively serves in ministry as well) were married in 1966 and have four children.
Praise for this book
David Knapp has put together a valuable and much need manual on how to help friends and loved ones as they journey through the grieving process. Especially helpful is the section at the end of the book that details what one can do to comfort and help those who experience the loss of a loved one at the time of death, one week later; and at intervals from 3 weeks, 3 months, six months and up to a year after the time of loss. There are tips covering what to say and do at the holidays; and how to help when those missing anniversaries and birthdays come around. Especially useful is the short guide at the end on what not to say when someone is grieving and what can be said instead when words are appropriate. This book will be a welcome resource, not just for ministers and counselors, but in every family's bookshelf. DG Spillman Spiritual Counterfeits Project Access Director & Author of "The Godslinger" Series "David Knapp hits a nerve with his book, I Didn't Know What To Say. Whether you've been there or not, the loss of a loved one is never easy. David takes a candid and vulnerable walk through all the dynamics of grief and loss. He speaks from an uneasy vantage point, when it comes to the death of loved ones. Sadly, grief can be experienced with the loss of pets, job loss, and divorce as well. In each situation, we need to know what to say, as well as what not to say. " Steve Vandegriff Professor of Christian Leadership and Church Ministries Liberty University "Have you ever felt uncomfortable in trying to help someone who is grieving a loss? Did you ever "shrink back" because you didn't know how best to be a support and didn't want to make it worse? Few of us know what to say or do to offer real comfort, that is, until now. Through his own heartfelt grieving, David has overcome, breaking down the process for us and providing a roadmap for anyone who wants to "be there" for a hurting person. Since loss affects us all at one time or another, this book should be a very helpful tool." Brenda Terpstra, retired teacher (Minnesota) Congratulations! I really enjoyed your book, David. It is a wonderful, heartfelt, helpful book. Thank you for guiding us to the most loving and helpful ways to comfort our family and friends in their times of grief. It is refreshing to see acknowledgment that grief should not have to be hidden or suffered alone and there is no set time limit working through sadness and pain. You show us that it is a journey that can become bearable with time and the help of family and friends. You give hope, and you are an example to all, that the joy of life will return. Your book will bring healing and comfort to many hearts. Sincerely, Martha (Iowa) "How many times have I said to myself, I hate funerals because I just never know what to say to that friend or family member who has just lost a loved one? Saying 'I am sorry for your loss' just never seemed to be enough. I heartily recommend this book as David Knapp has given me a whole new insight on how to talk with a grieving friend or family member experiencing grief." Carolyn A. Walker Former Arizona State Senator David Knapp eloquently captures in print the journey into and through the loss of significant persons in his life. He does not side-step the thorns of a relationship that draws to a close brought on by forces outside either partner's control. Thanks for the opportunity to be embraced by the wisdom and affirmation of our humanity in and through the process of loss. My copy is already full of notes and comments. Bill Steinke Hospice Chaplain