From our earliest moments to old age, quality of life revolves around relationships. But while the human brain craves intimacy, many struggle with building deeper bonds. All too often, childhood experiences can pave the way for relationships that are vulnerable to conflict, instability, and miscommunication. This added stress can manifest as anxiety and depression, gut problems, and a weakened immune system. Living a connected life isn't just pivotal for our emotional well-being; it's essential for our physical health.
In I Want to Connect, a follow-up to the popular The Attachment Theory Workbook, expert relationship therapist Annie Chen explores how your nervous system directly impacts your relationships and what you can do about it. Weaving together insights from Polyvagal Theory, somatic practices, and relationship co-regulation skills, this workbook addresses a range of issues through a central connecting point: that the state of our nervous system either primes us for resilience and connection or pushes us toward defense and shutdown.
With the tools inside, you'll learn how to:
Annie Chen, LMFT, currently runs a private practice in Berkeley, CA, where she counsels individuals and couples on all relationship matters. She helps train fellow therapists in PACT, a couples therapy modality grounded in attachment and somatics, and collaborates on a research team studying the model's effectiveness. Annie holds dual master's degrees in counseling and psychology, where her passion for the clinical applications of neuroscience is reflected in two theses projects. She is the author of The Attachment Theory Workbook, published in 2019.
"Annie Chen's I Want to Connect brilliantly translates the science of the polyvagal theory into practical, life-changing exercises. By diving deep into the concept of autonomic states, she makes it easier to understand and improve human connection. This workbook makes a fantastic resource for therapists and their clients by making the principles of physiological safety and social engagement accessible to all."
--Stephen W. Porges, PhD, distinguished university scientist and founding director of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium, Kinsey Institute
"In an era where digital connections often replace genuine human interaction, I Want to Connect emerges as a critical guide for fostering real, meaningful relationships. Annie Chen excels at making the complex science of autonomic states accessible, offering practical steps for anyone looking to build a culture of empathy and understanding in all facets of life."
--Charlene Li, speaker, advisor, coach, and author of the New York Times bestseller Open Leadership
"I Want to Connect is a revolutionary take on rewiring overtaxed and overstressed nervous systems to optimize our mental health and to foster meaningful connections in all relationships. Annie Chen artfully breaks down the fundamentals of your nervous system, how stress and trauma lead to emotional dysregulation, and how to heal your insecure attachment and past negative experiences to pave the way for effective coping and self-actualization now and in the future. This workbook has a wonderful balance between explaining core concepts so readers understand why they think and feel the way they do, and providing easy-to-implement activities that will make an immediate positive impact on how you view yourself and how you approach your relationships. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is looking for authentic and fruitful connections with important people in their life."
--Dr. Judy Ho, clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, tenured professor, and author of The New Rules of Attachment and Stop Self-Sabotage
"Annie is masterful at demystifying what happens 'under the hood' of relationships. Drawing on the latest developmental and neurological research, she invites us on a journey into connection that starts with learning the embodied skills no one taught us as children. Annie lovingly and expertly shows us how our internal states affect our external relationships and how, as adults, we can fill in the gaps and missing pieces left by childhood neglect and trauma. Free of jargon, this workbook is as artful as it is scientific. With every word imbued with care and clarity, she gives us a heart-opening gift."
--Dr. Aline LaPierre, founder/director of the NeuroAffective Touch Institute
"I Want to Connect has a science-backed approach to deeper bonds. It cuts through the noise and provides clear steps for anyone looking to deepen their relationships and navigate stress with grace. These insights are going to help the world have more empathetic human connections."
--Matt Larson, founder of the Human Improvement Project