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Book Cover for: Relational Mindfulness for Coaches: Enhancing Presence, Awareness, Wisdom, Compassion and Courageous Collaboration, Emma Donaldson-Feilder

Relational Mindfulness for Coaches: Enhancing Presence, Awareness, Wisdom, Compassion and Courageous Collaboration

Emma Donaldson-Feilder

The quality of coaches' presence and awareness is key to the quality and success of their coaching relationships and interventions. Relational Mindfulness for Coaches supports coaches to co-create compassionate, psychologically safe yet courageous coaching spaces, generating profound insight, wisdom and understanding in the client.

At the book's heart are powerful practices to expand mindful presence from the individual to the relational, bringing present-moment, non-judgemental awareness to self, others and the relationship, whilst speaking and listening. The book provides understanding of Relational Mindfulness's (RM's) foundations in mindfulness, compassion and Insight Dialogue. Drawing on their and other experienced coaches' experiences, the authors illustrate the benefits of engaging in RM practices and provide easy-to-follow guidance for bringing RM into coaching. They also situate RM in the wider field of theory and practice, including neuroscience, and explore RM in relation to a host of other coaching models. In these challenging times of polarisation and conflict, the climate emergency and a crisis in mental health, this inspiring book addresses the urgent need to create transformational dialogue and interrelatedness in coaching and beyond.

This pioneering book will be essential reading for coaches, coach supervisors, coaching psychologists, coaching academics, leaders, and other helping professionals.

Book Details

  • Publisher: Routledge
  • Publish Date: Apr 8th, 2025
  • Pages: 338
  • Language: English
  • Edition: undefined - undefined
  • Dimensions: 0.00in - 0.00in - 0.00in - 0.00lb
  • EAN: 9781032487168
  • Categories: Mentoring & CoachingHuman Resources & Personnel ManagementConsulting

About the Author

Emma Donaldson-Feilder is a Relational Mindfulness and Insight Dialogue teacher, chartered coaching psychologist, coaching supervisor, leadership coach, and chartered occupational psychologist, who aims to support the development of kinder, wiser workplaces.

Liz Hall is the founding editor of Coaching at Work magazine, a leadership coach, and a mindfulness teacher, with clients including the NHS. Other publications include Coach your Team (2019), Mindful Coaching (2013), and Coaching in Times of Crisis and Transformation (with others, 2015).

Foreword by Nicholas Janni.

Praise for this book

"Presence and connection are the double helix of our being. Without the belonging that is sustained by our relationships, we fade into a purgatory of loneliness. Without being present with the other, we cannot realise the loving inter-connection that is the truth of our existence. Emma Donaldson-Feilder and Liz Hall offer the treasure of why, what and how - inspirationally, wisely and with profound compassion. Relational mindfulness must be the future for coaches, indeed for all of humanity. Here is how."

Professor Michael West CBE, Professor of Organizational Psychology, Lancaster University; Senior Visiting Fellow, The King's Fund, London; Convenor, Health Impact Group, Global Compassion Coalition

"Emma Donaldson-Feilder and Liz Hall have written a brilliant book on Relational Mindfulness and its significance for coaches and in coaching. In our mechanistic, utilitarian, digital, world it is rare truly to be listened to. And it is especially rare in the workplace context to have deep, meaningful, open and interactive conversations. It is too easy for coaches to fall for the merely instrumental and for the coaching relationship to be hollowed out in pursuit of goals, KPIs and targets. This book allows for a return of our essential humanity into the coaching context. More than almost anything today, we all need to be deeply heard and to be allowed to discover our own deeper purpose. Good coaching leads to that. This book can help us all coach more deeply."

Michael Chaskalson, Founder, Mindfulness Works; Professor of Practice adjunct at Hult EF Corporate Education

"Clearly, mindfulness enhances our relational capacity. Clearly, well-crafted relational practice can strengthen mindfulness. This book contributes to how this synergy can be applied in coaching, leadership, and elsewhere. But the boldest assertion in this work is suggested on every page: our growth in relational capacity and awareness can yield the intuitive wisdom we so urgently need at this time. Wisdom is about human suffering and our higher potential as skilful and compassionate people. And profoundly wholesome results can be expected when this wisdom guides our lives - as coaches, leaders, citizens, and members of the human family. I hope you read this book carefully and let it touch you."

Gregory Kramer, meditation teacher and author of Insight Dialogue: The Interpersonal Path to Freedom, A Whole Life Path: A Lay Buddhist's Guide to Crafting a Dhamma-infused Life and other publications on relational dharma

"We all want a better life. For some, it means more freedom. For others, it means more love. Sadly, for too many it means less fear and pain. An even more basic human drive is to want a better life for our children and our loved ones. For many, it may even extend to all of the others with whom we share our planet. As coaches or helpers, we want to inspire and invoke this hope and renewed capability in our clients. This book is about hope. But it is not fanciful hope, it is feasible hope. Liz and Emma focus on two major themes, mindfulness and caring for and with others. With their style and linguistic magic, they have created a book that is a feast of possibilities. Relational Mindfulness is what creates conditions in which you and coaching clients, friends, family or coworkers have special moments of caring, laughter, productivity, and ingenuity. That is what this book can help you seek and achieve. Enjoy reading it. Talk about it with others. Practice their exercises."

Richard E. Boyatzis, Distinguished University Professor of Case Western Reserve University and Professor in Departments of Organizational Behavior, Psychology and Cognitive Science

"For coaching to step-up to what is now needed in the world, it needs to not only develop an eco-systemic way of thinking, being, doing and perceiving but also a spiritual perspective grounded in mindfulness, compassion, non-attachment and gratitude. Liz Hall and Emma Donaldson-Feilder bring their many years of practice and supervision to provide an excellent practical and step by step practice approach to how we can all develop our spiritual source and resourcefulness."

Professor Peter Hawkins, global thought leader and best-selling author on systemic coaching, systemic team coaching and supervision.

"Relational Mindfulness for Coaches is an important book. The last 30 years have seen a huge increase in people taking to intrapersonal mindfulness practice to support their own well-being, and growth. As a mindful coach, do we leave it there and simply bring our own mindful attention implicitly into the coaching relationship? Liz and Emma are pointing to another way - a way of bringing mindfulness more explicitly into the practice of dialogue. When we do so, not only do we create the psychological safety for new insight to emerge, but we may also help others on their vertical development journey toward self-authorship and for some, the self-transforming mind. Our world needs more leaders better able to navigate complexity and co-create solutions to some of our toughest global challenges. This book offers a way to accelerate that, ironically by slowing down. Helping others access courage, collaboration and wisdom will be key if we are to find meaningful solutions to our ecological and climate crisis. As Liz and Emma point out, relational mindfulness moves us in the direction of greater compassion - this may be the most powerful alchemical ingredient as we look to integrate our own shadow and rediscover our inherent wholeness as human beings."

Mark McMordie, CEO of The Conscious Leader, co-author of Mindfulness for Coaches and contributor to Ecological & Climate-Conscious Coaching

"Coaching an individual outside their context often does more harm than good. Every human is a cluster of systems nested within a multitude of other systems. Relational mindfulness is an essential tool for the mature coach, who wants to add more value than helping someone solve a complicated problem. It takes us to where coaching belongs - the world of complex adaptive systems."

Professor David Clutterbuck, Founder and Practice Lead, Clutterbuck Coaching and Mentoring International

"Supported by compelling stories and testimonials, Hall and Donaldson-Feilder present us with a practical guide for how Relational Mindfulness can evolve our coaching practice. Not only can Relational Mindfulness unearth greater leadership insight and intelligence, by helping us welcome 'what is' with greater wisdom and compassion; but it also gives coaches a toolkit to make progress towards 'equality of outcomes', by providing coaching that creates the most needed benefits for clients, whatever their background or identities. This book is an inspirational invitation to coaches seeking more creative, inclusive, and transformational relationships with those they serve."

Will James, Founder of With Diversity, provider of coaching and consultancy services, and director of Inclusion and Sustainability at APECS.

"If we are to address the polycrisis we are facing, humans will need to evolve to find a different way of being. This book starts with the self work and the importance of mindfulness and non judgement and then skillfully guides us into the relational space, providing a path to support individual change and tools for coaches to utilise and share. Emma and Liz share their personal passion for Relational Mindfulness with deep compassion, in a way which models their call to action."

Rita Symons, Coach, Supervisor, Managing Director - Enhance Coaching and Consultancy, world citizen and former EMCC UK President

"In these troubled times with so much calling for our attention, so urgently, it feels even more important than ever to remind ourselves that true stillness can help us to have profound movement in our thinking. That stillness is often achieved through practices like individual mindfulness or having a thinking partner who can offer the promise of sustained generative attention and deep listening. Relational mindfulness builds beautifully on these practices; slowing us down, transcending a focus on the self to re-learn to be fully present for another even whilst in dialogue: through this we can cultivate shared compassion, deep insight, wisdom and a remembering that we are all connected. This is "Systems work" with an important focus on the relationship. As a Time to Think teacher I know that the quality of our feeling, thinking and actions most depend on the way we are treated by others who around us; Liz and Emma's deeply thoughtful, highly accessible book brings new perspectives and many accessible systemic practices to anyone - not just coaches - embarking or continuing on this journey. Now is not the time to be alone - this book on relational mindfulness illuminates an inviting pathway of a whole new way of being together. Highly recommended."

Linda Aspey, FBACP, Time to Think Faculty, Climate Psychology Alliance.

"This book is a helpful and timely addition in coaching as we are seeing the signs of how social, economical and environmental factors are making it harder to cope while at the same time, we are becoming more aware of what our brains and bodies require to feel healthy. There is so often an incongruence between healthy, thriving functioning and the systems in which we operate which contributes to increased levels of stress on an individual and collective level. Tools like RM provide an accessible and practical way of working with coaching clients, and just 'being' with all the people we interact with! RM encourages us to apply awareness, self-compassion and empathy to ourselves and those we work with, or who are around us; recognising and honouring the value our diverse inner worlds and perspectives. Improving how we relate to others is something we can all benefit from, both practically and with the increased positive emotions and hormonal balance that occurs as a consequence of good relationships. As research often shows, it is also one of the most powerful aspects of a productive coaching relationship. This book draws on research and thinking from multiple fields and pulls it together in a way that brings it to life, and embedding that practice is the key!"

Lindsay Comalie, experienced organisational development consultant, coach, coach supervisor and positive psychologist, previously responsible for Imperial College London's Coaching Academy and an early adopter of RM for coaches when she invited Emma to offer an RM programme for Imperial College's internal coaches

"Relational Mindfulness for Coaches is a transformative dialogue that blends scientific evidence, real-world examples, and practical guidance to introduce and integrate relational mindfulness into the realm of coaching. This book explores the depths of relational mindfulness both as a personal practice for coaches and as an invaluable tool in their professional toolkit. The authors' expertise and enthusiasm shine through, providing a well-rounded exploration that feeds the enquiring mind. Their insightful approach not only enhances coaches' presence and awareness but also fosters wisdom, compassion, and courageous collaboration. Whether you are an experienced coach or new to the field, this book will enrich your practice and elevate your impact. Highly recommended!"

Simon Dennis, Head of Enterprise Platform Services and a coaching ambassador for Fujitsu, having previously been Head of Coaching at Fujitsu UK & Ireland and established a Coaching Community utilizing internal and external coaches within the business

"This timely book is an important addition to the canon of mindfulness literature. The tendency to conflate mindfulness with meditation has perpetuated the view that engaging in such practices is somehow narcissistic: we sit blissed out in our bubble, disengaged from real world problems. Liz and Emma dispel this unhelpful myth with this comprehensive introduction to Relational Mindfulness. In these times of polarisation and reactivity, it couldn't be more essential to bring self-aware, attentive and compassionate listening to our dialogues, relationships and workplaces. By including their own stories and accounts from practitioners in this thoughtful book, Emma and Liz bring warmth and an everyday quality to what is both a manual and an informative reference. I found it a mindful exercise in itself to read their calm and engaging prose and having used Insight Dialogue, the method they espouse, I know it works brilliantly! I hope this excellent book gets the widespread attention it deserves."

Hetty Einzig, leadership coach, author, Executive Editor of Coaching Perspectives and Director of Publications Strategy, Association for Coaching

"The authors beautifully describe the growing awareness of the power of Relational Mindfulness - mindfulness expanded and deepened through the relational meditation practice of Insight Dialogue. Inspiring and practical, the book offers a progressive path for coaches' development in cultivating attuned relational presence, relational awareness, wisdom, courage, compassion and collaborative capacity. Clearly and warmly written, the book highlights illuminating interviews with coach-practitioners that unfold the professional and personal benefits of training and development in Relational Mindfulness."

Jan Surrey, senior Insight Dialogue Retreat Teacher; clinical psychologist; faculty and board member of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy in Boston, MA, USA

"This book on relational mindfulness (RM) illustrates the amplifying power of embodied presence in relationship. We know and others know when someone is open and receptive, and this expanded relational capacity contributes to transformations of self and other views. With awareness, true change becomes possible. Habits and perceptual biases limiting our interactions can become sources of insight and wisdom as we deepen our understanding of the shared human condition. This application of Insight Dialogue and RM will benefit coaches and their clients and contribute to workspaces and personal relationships that are attuned, capable, flexible and compassionate. The book is an insightful overview of how the practices of RM enhance and expand relational capacity across various models informing coaching. It is a significant and heartfelt contribution to the field."

Phyllis K. Hicks, co-author and trainer of the Interpersonal Mindfulness Program and senior Insight Dialogue Retreat Teacher

"If you want to harness the significant benefits of mindfulness in ways that are most pragmatic and relevant to coaching, relational mindfulness offers a richly elegant solution. The authors provide a clear, compelling and theoretically grounded understanding of the approach, enriched by practitioner accounts of its paradigm-shifting impact on their coaching relationships. Offering refined guidelines for deepening presence through interpersonal practice, the approach simultaneously cultivates self-awareness and relational attunement, essential ingredients for impactful coaching effectiveness. The book shows how relational mindfulness resonates with and augments the major coaching approaches, and offers an inspiring vision of how we can infuse more wisdom and compassion into our work, our lives, and in facing the challenges of our contemporary world."

Graham Lee, author of Leadership Coaching, and Breakthrough Conversations for Coaches, Consultants, and Leaders

"This book could not come at a more important time. We make vastly different, wiser, choices when we have the space for dialogue. In a world that is often too caught up in the busyness of instrumental, short-term, tangible targets, and at a time where speaking truth to power is critical, coaches are uniquely positioned to hold open this space for dialogue and insight with leaders. This book is an essential guide and resource to help coaches to do that well."

Professor Megan Reitz, Associate Fellow, Saïd Business School, Oxford University; Adjunct Professor of Leadership and Dialogue, Hult Business School

"Relational Mindfulness for Coaches invites readers on a transformative journey to deepen their presence in relational spaces. The book seamlessly integrates personal experiences, rigorous research, theory and practice to advocate for a deeper connection with oneself, thereby enhancing the coaching relationship. Presence, awareness, wisdom, compassion, and courageous collaboration are explored through exercises and practices aimed at fostering mindfulness and meaningful connections with clients. The authors also explore somatics, a field which is central to my practice and growing in reach every day. The book explores how embodied practices complement traditional coaching methods, enriching the coaching process with a deeper understanding of physical sensations and emotional states. Grounded in extensive research and enriched by the authors own learning, this book is an invaluable resource for coaches seeking to create impactful and transformative coaching experiences. It emphasises not just techniques, but also the profound importance of connecting deeply with oneself and others to bring about meaningful change."

Dr Eunice Aquilina, author of Embodying Authenticity and Stepping Into Your Power

"This groundbreaking book explores relational mindfulness and its application to the field of coaching. The experienced practitioners, Liz Hall and Emma Donaldson-Feilder illustrate how both coaches and coachees can benefit from this innovative approach. In addition, they provide important guidelines for its use. This is a must have book for trainee and experienced coaches wishing to learn more about this exciting area of practice."

Professor Stephen Palmer, Director, Centre for Coaching, London

"Relational mindfulness helps us become aware of the unconscious drivers and habits that are currently fuelling humanity's environmental and other challenges. This book provides a well-rounded perspective on how to begin the mindfulness process, its benefits and future development. It is written with warmth, compassion and insight and will be an important reference point for those trying to prepare clients for responding to the deep dangers we currently face."

Nick Smith has written and taught about transformational coaching and supervision for more than 20 yrs. He co-authored Coaching, Mentoring and Organisational Consultancy: Supervision and Development with Prof Peter Hawkins.

"Are you looking to develop and maintain optimum levels of attention and ease to enrich your listening and presence? If so, this meticulous guide to 'Relational Mindfulness' will be inspirational. It offers step by step guidance to slowing down in real time and in real life, through practice that 'taps into our sense of being fellow human beings' and 'engenders compassion and care - for ourselves as well as each other'. In a world utterly depleted by urgency and action, this is a heartfelt, rigorous call to a way of being with each other that 'provides opportunities for new ways of thinking and perceiving to emerge' something that has never been more vital than it is right now. Comprehensive and compelling, this is a highly recommendable, all-encompassing guide from two authentic experts."

Ruth McCarthy, Faculty at Time to Think