If you are reading this book, then you must be trapped in that spooky house with those vampires. Sorry about that.
But! You might just make it out if you manage to tell them one scary story each night in accordance with standard vampire rules. Don't know any scary stories? Good thing you found this book! Every tale in this tome is true...more or less (more more than less).
You get a little bit of everything in this monster mash: from hitchhiking phantoms to women in white, a carnivore beast that loves a good vacation to a haunted mannequin with a bug problem, killer phones, concerned werewolves, you name it. Everything you need to keep those vampires on the edge of their seats--and well away from your neck.
But beware...don't get too comfortable. Names have power, and if you whisper about too many things in the dark, they might just hear you.
Patton Oswalt is a writer and comedian.
I got to read a preview of this and it is BEYOND wonderful and hilarious. Pre-order a copy NOW if you can! #StoriesToKeepYouAliveDespiteVampires
Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.
Hey! @bnacker rules, and his book Stories to Keep You Alive Despite Vampires is great for kids and adults too. Pre-order at https://t.co/JME5paqogL"
Author of ACCOMPLISHED and GHOSTED - DASHED coming 2024! @wednesdaybooks | kidlit buyer & events @justonemorepage | rep @inthesestones | she/her
STORIES TO KEEP YOU ALIVE DESPITE VAMPIRES is my new favorite title of a book and also can be applied to pretty much all books these days