Apache Haiku was raised by coyotes in Wyoming. Shortly after graduating from college with an accounting degree, he was attacked by a giant squid while fly fishing in Montana. The incident spurred him to write his first novel, Attacked by a Giant Squid while Fly Fishing in Montana, which won moderate acclaim, particularly among squid enthusiasts. He then became interested in the lost art of toilet making, which led to the writing of The Da Vinci Commode. He now lives on a small farm in Texas with his wife Betsy, four oxen, a yellow Labrador retriever, a tall rooster, and a spotted hog.