The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight is the story of Papa Baccala, a Brooklyn Mafia boss, and Kid Sally Palumbo, a would-be capo who "couldn't run a gas station at a profit even if he stole the customers' cars". There's also Kid Sally's grandmother, who will go to extravagant lengths to see her boy make his mark. A love interest? Sure. Kid Sally's sister tumbles for an artistic type who rides a bicycle and has recently arrived from Calabria...

The high adventure begins with a six-day bike race that is only partly responsible for a rash of obituary notices reading: "Died. Suddenly". Eventually it all gets worked out in fine Sicilian fashion -- and, in the end, everybody gets his, in a manner of speaking.